My Mantra for this day - So Hum (I am)...

I started participating in a 21-day Meditation Challenge....today's meditation was "I am a radiant spiritual being" and the mantra is "So Hum" which means I am.

This meditation session reminded me of my very first attempt at poetry/prose.  It was called "What are you looking for?"  Here is the piece that truly started me writing in earnest.  (footnote:  I did add when this was published in my first Volume of Intimate Evolution:  One Woman's Journey current comments at the end referencing Eat, Pray, Love)  This piece is part of every book that I write.

What are you looking for….

My soul….

Where have you looked?  I have looked in the sky.  I have looked in the earth.  I have looked in the waters.  I have looked in the mountains and the hills.  And, did you find it?  No, I did not.  Look within….

So many years ago I wrote that.  Within the pages between the first page and the last page I wrote my prose and my poetry.  The last page was Have you found your soul?  And the simple answer was, looking back from this moment, profound.  And, it is only now some thirty years later that I understand how profound.  It was there all along and I was too consumed with the search that I failed to understand the true meaning of the answer….

I am my soul

And then I was consumed with raising two children, working, struggling, loving, being alone, being lonely and just existing.  Children grown up, now grandchildren, still working, finding some passions in my life (my artistic side) and still just existing, but starting that search again.

Looking for tranquility, serenity, calmness, peacefulness.  Tired of the drama of life and others…..knowing I was not where I was supposed to be.  Starting to understand that more then I ever have.  Starting to plan to change my environment.  Evidently I was not moving fast enough for the Universe.  I needed a wake up call.  A smack to make me take notice.  Within one year, the Universe had my attention and was taking charge – evidently I was just moving too slowly.

Physical pain beyond belief.  If I did not take care of my body, I would not be able to walk within a very short time.  That solution was hard – back surgery…..screws and bolts in my spine and bone grafts…Do I have your attention now?  Yes, Universe, you do. 

No more working in corporate America!  Do you hear me?  Oh, yes, I hear you.  This is hard for me you know, Universe.  It is not easy for me to still my body and most difficult to still my mind. 

What are you looking for?  I am looking for peace within me - contentment, tranquility, and serenity.  Simplicity in life.  And, have you found it?  I’m looking.  I am reading.  I am searching for that place on earth where I can achieve these things.  Be patient with me.  You had the answer many years ago when you were younger…..why don’t you see it?

I have been reading the book by Elizabeth Gilbert EAT, PRAY, LOVE – I labored thru the first segment “Italy” and am now reading India.  This segment was an epiphany for me.  I started to laugh out loud.

I remembered my early writings and the last page – I am my soul.  All that I search for is within me.  It’s not external.  I have the power to become peaceful, contented, tranquil and serene.  Open my mind and my heart.  Fear not the risk of letting people in. 

I am contentment. 

I am serenity.

I am tranquility.

I am at peace!

I am.

Simplicity in life.